• Desire is not love; finding someone desirable is not loving them
• the greatest most important quality of the Christian is the ability to love; love is more than sweet words.
• desire, someone's attractiveness to us is not love
• if you have to explain love, it is not love; love is something so phenomenal that you can't explain it
• there's is different kinds of love: eros - sexual love. etc.
• the feeling of being loved is not love; enjoying someone's presence, humour is not love.

John 13:34-35: 

• God's love for us is not nearly as important as our love for God. The purpose of His love for us is to enable us to love Him back; and that's where the rewards begin. Jesus loves the 2 theives on the cross, but only one went to heaven. God's love for us gives us access, but does not create change. It is our love for God that births change.
• it will take God to start the river of love flowing in you, and to keep it going
• Everything that looks like love isn't love
• 1 John 2:3, 5: love is not hugging or kissing or stroking; our love is not because we carry a Bible or lift up hands; we love God is we keep His commandments

1 John 3:14-18; 24; 1 John 4:7, 10-12:

• love is not attractiveness, it is a decision to place great value on the needs of another

Proofs of Love

1.The willingness to listen; listen with interest. anytime anyone talks to you, bring all of you into that moment.

2. The passion to pleasure another person: different from lust - lust is the desire to extract pleasure from another person; love is a passion to pleasure another person. what does this person love, what do they enjoy.

• Who have you decided to host on the earth? whose comfort has become your passion?
• your discomfort is a conversation; and if someone loves you, they discern your discomfort. they don't only pick it up but they desire to pleasure you.
• How do you know if someone love you: their passion to provide you something you need

3. Your ability to adapt: when you love someone, there is a remarkable skill to adapt to changes, unexpected requests.

• the willingness to adapt, the capability to adapt to an immediate need

4. A relentless desire to protect:

5: The proof of love is the investment of time: you will spend time with people we love the most

6: The willingness to define your expectations:

• love creates expectations because you've invested yourself, your emotions in that person
• you have to create expectations when you're dating; even God's love has expectations otherwise there will be no hell

7. The willingness to give the gift of correction:

• correction is a gift; 
• correcting someone when they are making a mistake diminishes a painful experience
• stopping their pain should be more important than them feeling you love them; if you love someone you won't allow someone to continue to destroy their lives
• don't date someone to change them; you can't fall in love with the wrong person, with someone who is going to destroy your life. 

8. The proof of love is in the swiftness to forgive:

• we should be swift to forgive because it will require a lot of mercy
• it should be hard to be someone's friend, because it should require qualification. Being friendly is not the same as being friendly
• God's mercy is proportional to the mercy we extend. we forgive, because we will require forgiveness. it took Mike Murdock a quarter of a century to realise this. 
• when we forgive others, we are able to accept the forgiveness of God.  
• Forgiving someone doesn't mean you trust them. trust is something you build up. you don't have to qualify to being forgiven; trust is something you qualify for